False start

2006-12-19T13:26:00.000+10:30

You want to meet people and have them not know that you used to be fat.
You want to be able to go into ANY shop and be able to buy ANYTHING.
You want to be able to borrow your sisters clothes.
You want to stop feeling inferior to people when it comes to guys.
If you do this NOW, and stick at it NOW then you wont ever have to do this AGAIN!!! EVER!!!!! You will be skinny and healthy and can lead a normal life eating normal food, and normal quantities at normal times of the day, and occasionally eat bad food and it wont matter. This eating routine is not for ever, it's only for 7 months and then you can loosen it up a bit (NOT GOING CRAZY) but you can have some more freedom then for the rest of your life, if you work hard now.
You will give A and H a run for their money when you see them afterwards.
If you do this now, you wont feel empty later on. You will be skinny and happy and fulfilled and wont need to comfort your self with food.
You will save money because you will take your lunch to work, and you won't be drinking. (for 7 months - July 07)
YOU WILL BE THE TALL SKINNY GIRL WITH LONG HEALTHY HAIR (but still have boobs)

I guess this is kind of like my mission statement. This is what I am meant to read when I am feeling disheartened with my dieting. I don't really ever read it. Maybe that's why I've "fallen off the wagon" so often. So this time I am getting back on that Wagon, and I will be holding on for dear life. Sometimes I wonder if I have never really lost a substantial amount of weight because I am always wanting to do it for the wrong reason. My main motivation to loose the weight is to get a boyfriend, and I'm not talking about just any boyfriend, Im not so big that I can't get "any guy" just yet, but I have high standards and refuse to settle for "any guy" just because that's all I can get. Anyway what I am getting at is, sometimes I think, if they made clothes that were a bit bigger and if the guys I actually want weren't repulsed by me, then I would be happy to stay the size I am. But then I also think about going to the beach with all these skinny chicks frolicking and then I am well and truly back on my weight loss wagon.

Let me explain. I'm not crazily obese, like I can still walk and go to work and shower myself etc - but Im only 21 so I am trying not to get to that point. You can probably judge how big I am by me saying that my goal weight is about 35 kgs away from where I am now. Hey I just realized that my goal used to be higher, so every time I lose a kg, I am one kg closer to my goal. I know that just sounds like normal logic, but I don't think I have ever really thought of it in that way.

Basically I embarked on this new diet about 3 weeks ago. I started out well, (I lost 2kg in 1 week with NO exercise!) but then get really pissed twice in one week due to work Xmas parties, and from there on I found it really hard to get back on "the wagon" - that god damn wagon. But from today onwards (with the exception of Xmas day, boxing day and New Years Eve) I am strapped so tightly onto this wagon that I think the top half of my body is going to drop off like a lambs tail.

So here we go, this is my first entry into the story of my weight loss "journey" - I hate that word. So perhaps I will just call this little blog, my whinge about being a guts.

Worth the Weight?

False start